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Executive Director's Notes: In addition to the notes below,snow toys for 11 year olds under 30 dollars and so you will *NOT* think allthe spelling errors introduced by the printers of the time havebeen corrected, here are the first few lines of Hamlet, as theyare presented herein: Barnardo. Who's there? Bar. Long liue the King * * * * *As I understand it, the printers often ran out of certain wordsor letters they had often packed into a "cliche". . .this is theoriginal meaning of the term cliche. . .and thus, being unwillingto unpack the cliches, and thus you will see some substitutionsthat look very odd. . .such as the exchanges of u for v, v for u,above. . .and you may wonder why they did it this way, presumingShakespeare did not actually write the play in this manner. . . . The answer is that they MAY have packed "liue" into a cliche at atime when they were out of "v"'s. . .possibly having used "vv" inplace of some "w"'s, etc. This was a common practice of the day,as print was still quite expensive, and they didn't want to spendmore on a wider selection of characters than they had to. You will find a lot of these kinds of "errors" in this text, as Ihave mentioned in other times and places, many "scholars" have anextreme attachment to these errors, and many have accorded them avery high place in the "canon" of Shakespeare. My father read anassortment of these made available to him by Cambridge Universityin England for several months in a glass room constructed for thepurpose. To the best of my knowledge he read ALL those available. . .in great detail. . .and determined from the various changes,that Shakespeare most likely did not write in nearly as many of avariety of errors we credit him for, even though he was in/famousfor signing his name with several different spellings. So, please take this into account when reading the comments belowmade by our volunteer who prepared this file: you may see errorsthat are "not" errors. . . . So. . .with this caveat. . .we have NOT changed the canon errors,here is the Project Gutenberg Etext of Shakespeare's play. Michael S. Hart * * * * *Scanner's Notes: What this is and isn't. This was taken from a copy of The elongated S's have been changed to small s's and theconjoined ae have been changed to ae. I have left the spelling,punctuation, capitalization as close as possible to the printedtext. I have corrected some spelling mistakes (I have puttogether a spelling dictionary devised from the spellings ofthe Geneva Bible and Shakespeare's First Folio and have unifiedspellings according to this template), typo's and expandedabbreviations as I have come across them. Everything withinbrackets [] is what I have added. So if you don't like that youcan delete everything within the brackets if you want a purerShakespeare. Another thing that you should be aware of is that there aretextual differences between various copies of the first folio. Sothere may be differences (other than what I have mentioned above)between this and other first folio editions. This is due to theprinter's habit of setting the type and running off a number ofcopies and then proofing the printed copy and correcting the typeand then continuing the printing run. The proof run wasn't thrownaway but incorporated into the printed copies. This is just theway it is. The text I have used was a composite of more than 30different First Folio editions' best pages. David Reed ===================================================================== As you Like it Actus primus. Scoena Prima. Enter Orlando and Adam. Orlando. As I remember Adam, it was vpon this fashionbequeathed me by will, but poore a thousandCrownes, and as thou saist, charged my brotheron his blessing to breed mee well: andthere begins my sadnesse: My brother Iaques he keepesat schoole, and report speakes goldenly of his profit:for my part, he keepes me rustically at home, or (to speakmore properly) staies me heere at home vnkept: for callyou that keeping for a gentleman of my birth, that differsnot from the stalling of an Oxe? his horses are bredbetter, for besides that they are faire with their feeding,they are taught their mannage, and to that end Ridersdeerely hir'd: but I (his brother) gaine nothing vnderhim but growth, for the which his Animals on hisdunghils are as much bound to him as I: besides this nothingthat he so plentifully giues me, the something thatnature gaue mee, his countenance seemes to take fromme: hee lets mee feede with his Hindes, barres mee theplace of a brother, and as much as in him lies, mines mygentility with my education. This is it Adam thatgrieues me, and the spirit of my Father, which I thinkeis within mee, begins to mutinie against this seruitude.I will no longer endure it, though yet I know no wiseremedy how to auoid it.Enter Oliuer. Adam. Yonder comes my Master, your brother Orlan. Goe a-part Adam, and thou shalt heare how Oli. Now Sir, what make you heere? Oli. What mar you then sir? Oliuer. Marry sir be better employed, and be naught Orlan. Shall I keepe your hogs, and eat huskes with Oli. Know you before whom sir? Orl. I, better then him I am before knowes mee: Iknow you are my eldest brother, and in the gentle conditionof bloud you should so know me: the courtesie ofnations allowes you my better, in that you are the firstborne, but the same tradition takes not away my bloud,were there twenty brothers betwixt vs: I haue as muchof my father in mee, as you, albeit I confesse your commingbefore me is neerer to his reuerence Oli. What Boy Orl. Come, come elder brother, you are too yong in this Oli. Wilt thou lay hands on me villaine? Orl. I am no villaine: I am the yongest sonne of SirRowland de Boys, he was my father, and he is thrice a villainethat saies such a father begot villaines: wert thounot my brother, I would not take this hand from thythroat, till this other had puld out thy tongue for sayingso, thou hast raild on thy selfe Adam. Sweet Masters bee patient, for your Fathersremembrance, be at accord Oli. Let me goe I say Orl. I will not till I please: you shall heare mee: myfather charg'd you in his will to giue me good education:you haue train'd me like a pezant, obscuring andhiding from me all gentleman-like qualities: the spiritof my father growes strong in mee, and I will no longerendure it: therefore allow me such exercises as may becomea gentleman, or giue mee the poore allottery myfather left me by testament, with that I will goe buy myfortunes Oli. And what wilt thou do? beg when that is spent?Well sir, get you in. I will not long be troubled withyou: you shall haue some part of your will, I pray youleaue me Orl. I will no further offend you, then becomes meefor my good Oli. Get you with him, you olde dogge Adam. Is old dogge my reward: most true, I hauelost my teeth in your seruice: God be with my olde master,he would not haue spoke such a word. Ex. Orl. Ad. Oli. Is it euen so, begin you to grow vpon me? I willphysicke your ranckenesse, and yet giue no thousandcrownes neyther: holla Dennis.Enter Dennis. Den. Calls your worship? Oli. Call him in: 'twill be a good way: and to morrow Cha. Good morrow to your worship Oli. Good Mounsier Charles: what's the new newesat the new Court? Charles. There's no newes at the Court Sir, but theolde newes: that is, the old Duke is banished by his yongerbrother the new Duke, and three or foure louingLords haue put themselues into voluntary exile withhim, whose lands and reuenues enrich the new Duke,therefore he giues them good leaue to wander Oli. Can you tell if Rosalind the Dukes daughter beebanished with her Father? Cha. O no; for the Dukes daughter her Cosen soloues her, being euer from their Cradles bred together,that hee would haue followed her exile, or haue died tostay behind her; she is at the Court, and no lesse belouedof her Vncle, then his owne daughter, and neuer two Ladiesloued as they doe Oli. Where will the old Duke liue? Cha. They say hee is already in the Forrest of Arden,and a many merry men with him; and there they liuelike the old Robin Hood of England: they say many yongGentlemen flocke to him euery day, and fleet the timecarelesly as they did in the golden world Oli. What, you wrastle to morrow before the new Cha. Marry doe I sir: and I came to acquaint youwith a matter: I am giuen sir secretly to vnderstand, thatyour yonger brother Orlando hath a disposition to comein disguis'd against mee to try a fall: to morrow sir Iwrastle for my credit, and hee that escapes me withoutsome broken limbe, shall acquit him well: your brotheris but young and tender, and for your loue I would beeloth to foyle him, as I must for my owne honour if heecome in: therefore out of my loue to you, I came hitherto acquaint you withall, that either you might stay himfrom his intendment, or brooke such disgrace well as heshall runne into, in that it is a thing of his owne search,and altogether against my will Oli. Charles , I thanke thee for thy loue to me, whichthou shalt finde I will most kindly requite: I had myselfe notice of my Brothers purpose heerein, and haue byvnder-hand meanes laboured to disswade him from it;but he is resolute. Ile tell thee Charles, it is the stubbornestyong fellow of France, full of ambition, an enuiousemulator of euery mans good parts, a secret & villanouscontriuer against mee his naturall brother: therefore vsethy discretion, I had as liefe thou didst breake his neckeas his finger. And thou wert best looke to't; for if thoudost him any slight disgrace, or if hee doe not mightiliegrace himselfe on thee, hee will practise against thee bypoyson, entrap thee by some treacherous deuise, and neuerleaue thee till he hath tane thy life by some indirectmeanes or other: for I assure thee, (and almost withteares I speake it) there is not one so young, and so villanousthis day liuing. I speake but brotherly of him,but should I anathomize him to thee, as hee is, I mustblush, and weepe, and thou must looke pale andwonder Cha. I am heartily glad I came hither to you: if heecome to morrow, Ile giue him his payment: if euer heegoe alone againe, Ile neuer wrastle for prize more: andso God keepe your worship.Enter. Farewell good Charles. Now will I stirre this Gamester:I hope I shall see an end of him; for my soule (yetI know not why) hates nothing more then he: yet hee'sgentle, neuer school'd, and yet learned, full of nobledeuise, of all sorts enchantingly beloued, and indeedso much in the heart of the world, and especially of myowne people, who best know him, that I am altogethermisprised: but it shall not be so long, this wrastler shallcleare all: nothing remaines, but that I kindle the boythither, which now Ile goe about.Enter. Scoena Secunda. Enter Rosalind, and Cellia. Cel. I pray thee Rosalind, sweet my Coz, be merry Ros. Deere Cellia; I show more mirth then I am mistresseof, and would you yet were merrier: vnlesse youcould teach me to forget a banished father, you must notlearne mee how to remember any extraordinary pleasure Cel. Heerein I see thou lou'st mee not with the fullwaight that I loue thee; if my Vncle thy banished fatherhad banished thy Vncle the Duke my Father, so thouhadst beene still with mee, I could haue taught my loueto take thy father for mine; so wouldst thou, if the truthof thy loue to me were so righteously temper'd, as mineis to thee Ros. Well, I will forget the condition of my estate,to reioyce in yours Cel. You know my Father hath no childe, but I, nornone is like to haue; and truely when he dies, thou shaltbe his heire; for what hee hath taken away from thy fatherperforce, I will render thee againe in affection: bymine honor I will, and when I breake that oath, let meeturne monster: therefore my sweet Rose, my deare Rose,be merry Ros. From henceforth I will Coz, and deuise sports:let me see, what thinke you of falling in Loue? Cel. Marry I prethee doe, to make sport withall: butloue no man in good earnest, nor no further in sport neyther,then with safety of a pure blush, thou maist in honorcome off againe Ros. What shall be our sport then? Ros. I would wee could doe so: for her benefits aremightily misplaced, and the bountifull blinde womandoth most mistake in her gifts to women Cel. 'Tis true, for those that she makes faire, she scarcemakes honest, & those that she makes honest, she makesvery illfauouredly Ros. Nay now thou goest from Fortunes office to Natures: Cel. No; when Nature hath made a faire creature,may she not by Fortune fall into the fire? though naturehath giuen vs wit to flout at Fortune, hath not Fortunesent in this foole to cut off the argument? Ros. Indeed there is fortune too hard for nature, whenfortune makes natures naturall, the cutter off of natureswitte Cel. Peraduenture this is not Fortunes work neither,but Natures, who perceiueth our naturall wits too dullto reason of such goddesses, hath sent this Naturall forour whetstone: for alwaies the dulnesse of the foole, isthe whetstone of the wits. How now Witte, whetherwander you? Clow. Mistresse, you must come away to your father Cel. Were you made the messenger? Cel. How proue you that in the great heape of your Clo. Stand you both forth now: stroke your chinnes, Cel. By our beards (if we had them) thou art Clo. By my knauerie (if I had it) then I were: but ifyou sweare by that that is not, you are not forsworn: nomore was this knight swearing by his Honor, for he neuerhad anie; or if he had, he had sworne it away, beforeeuer he saw those Pancakes, or that Mustard Cel. Prethee, who is't that thou means't? Ros. My Fathers loue is enough to honor him enough;speake no more of him, you'l be whipt for taxation oneof these daies Clo. The more pittie that fooles may not speak wisely,what Wisemen do foolishly Cel. By my troth thou saiest true: For, since the littlewit that fooles haue was silenced, the little foolerie thatwise men haue makes a great shew; Heere comes Monsieurthe Beu.Enter le Beau. Ros. With his mouth full of newes Cel. Which he will put on vs, as Pigeons feed theiryoung Ros. Then shal we be newes-cram'd Cel. All the better: we shalbe the more Marketable. Cel. Sport: of what colour? Clo. Or as the destinies decrees Cel. Well said, that was laid on with a trowell Clo. Nay, if I keepe not my ranke Ros. Thou loosest thy old smell Le Beu. You amaze me Ladies: I would haue toldyou of good wrastling, which you haue lost the sight of Ros. Yet tell vs the manner of the Wrastling Le Beu. I wil tell you the beginning: and if it pleaseyour Ladiships, you may see the end, for the best is yetto doe, and heere where you are, they are comming toperforme it Cel. Well, the beginning that is dead and buried Le Beu. There comes an old man, and his three sons Cel. I could match this beginning with an old tale Le Beu. Three proper yong men, of excellent growth Ros. With bils on their neckes: Be it knowne vnto Le Beu. The eldest of the three, wrastled with Charlesthe Dukes Wrastler, which Charles in a moment threwhim, and broke three of his ribbes, that there is littlehope of life in him: So he seru'd the second, and so thethird: yonder they lie, the poore old man their Father,making such pittiful dole ouer them, that all the beholderstake his part with weeping Ros. Alas Clo. But what is the sport Monsieur, that the Ladies Clo. Thus men may grow wiser euery day. It is thefirst time that euer I heard breaking of ribbes was sportfor Ladies Cel. Or I, I promise thee Ros. But is there any else longs to see this brokenMusicke in his sides? Is there yet another doates vponrib-breaking? Shall we see this wrastling Cosin? Le Beu. You must if you stay heere, for heere is theplace appointed for the wrastling, and they are ready toperforme it Cel. Yonder sure they are comming. Let vs now stayand see it. Flourish. Enter Duke, Lords, Orlando, Charles, and Attendants. Duke. Come on, since the youth will not be intreated Ros. Is yonder the man? Cel. Alas, he is too yong: yet he looks successefully Du. You wil take little delight in it, I can tell youthere is such oddes in the man: In pitie of the challengersyouth, I would faine disswade him, but he will notbee entreated. Speake to him Ladies, see if you canmooue him Cel. Call him hether good Monsieuer Le Beu Duke. Do so: Ile not be by Le Beu. Monsieur the Challenger, the Princesse calsfor you Orl. I attend them with all respect and dutie Ros. Young man, haue you challeng'd Charles the Cel. Yong Gentleman, your spirits are too bold foryour yeares: you haue seene cruell proofe of this mansstrength, if you saw your selfe with your eies, or knewyour selfe with your iudgment, the feare of your aduenturewould counsel you to a more equall enterprise. Wepray you for your owne sake to embrace your own safetie,and giue ouer this attempt Ros. Do yong Sir, your reputation shall not thereforebe misprised: we wil make it our suite to the Duke, thatthe wrastling might not go forward Orl. I beseech you, punish mee not with your hardethoughts, wherein I confesse me much guiltie to denieso faire and excellent Ladies anie thing. But let yourfaire eies, and gentle wishes go with mee to my triall;wherein if I bee foil'd, there is but one sham'd that wasneuer gracious: if kil'd, but one dead that is willing tobe so: I shall do my friends no wrong, for I haue none tolament me: the world no iniurie, for in it I haue nothing:onely in the world I fil vp a place, which may bee bettersupplied, when I haue made it emptie Ros. The little strength that I haue, I would it werewith you Cel. And mine to eeke out hers Ros. Fare you well: praie heauen I be deceiu'd in you Cel. Your hearts desires be with you Char. Come, where is this yong gallant, that is so Duk. You shall trie but one fall Cha. No, I warrant your Grace you shall not entreathim to a second, that haue so mightilie perswaded himfrom a first Orl. You meane to mocke me after: you should nothaue mockt me before: but come your waies Ros. Now Hercules, be thy speede yong man Cel. I would I were inuisible, to catch the strong fellowby the legge. Wrastle. Ros. Oh excellent yong man Cel. If I had a thunderbolt in mine eie, I can tell whoshould downe. Shout. Duk. No more, no more Orl. Yes I beseech your Grace, I am not yet well Duk. How do'st thou Charles? Duk. Beare him awaie: Duk. I would thou hadst beene son to some man else, Exit Duke. Cel. Were I my Father (Coze) would I do this? Ros. My Father lou'd Sir Roland as his soule, Cel. Gentle Cosen, Ros. Gentleman, Orl. Can I not say, I thanke you? My better parts Ros. He cals vs back: my pride fell with my fortunes, Cel. Will you goe Coze? Orl. What passion hangs these waights vpo[n] my toong? O poore Orlando! thou art ouerthrowne Le Beu. Good Sir, I do in friendship counsaile you Orl. I thanke you Sir; and pray you tell me this, Orl. I rest much bounden to you: fare you well. Exit Scena Tertius. Enter Celia and Rosaline. Cel. Why Cosen, why Rosaline: Cupid haue mercie, Cel. No, thy words are too precious to be cast awayvpon curs, throw some of them at me; come lame meewith reasons Ros. Then there were two Cosens laid vp, when theone should be lam'd with reasons, and the other madwithout any Cel. But is all this for your Father? Cel. They are but burs, Cosen, throwne vpon theein holiday foolerie, if we walke not in the trodden pathsour very petty-coates will catch them Ros. I could shake them off my coate, these burs arein my heart Cel. Hem them away Ros. I would try if I could cry hem, and haue him Cel. Come, come, wrastle with thy affections Ros. O they take the part of a better wrastler thenmy selfe Cel. O, a good wish vpon you: you will trie in timein dispight of a fall: but turning these iests out of seruice,let vs talke in good earnest: Is it possible on such a sodaine,you should fall into so strong a liking with old SirRoulands yongest sonne? Ros. The Duke my Father lou'd his Father deerelie Cel. Doth it therefore ensue that you should loue hisSonne deerelie? By this kinde of chase, I should hatehim, for my father hated his father deerely; yet I hatenot Orlando Ros. No faith, hate him not for my sake Cel. Why should I not? doth he not deserue well? Ros. Let me loue him for that, and do you loue him Cel. With his eies full of anger Duk. Mistris, dispatch you with your safest haste, Ros. Me Vncle Duk. You Cosen, Ros. I doe beseech your Grace Duk. Thus doe all Traitors, Ros. Yet your mistrust cannot make me a Traitor; Ros. So was I when your highnes took his Dukdome, Cel. Deere Soueraigne heare me speake Duk. I Celia, we staid her for your sake, Cel. I did not then intreat to haue her stay, Duk. She is too subtile for thee, and her smoothnes; Cel. Pronounce that sentence then on me my Leige, Duk. You are a foole: you Neice prouide your selfe, Exit Duke, &c. Cel. O my poore Rosaline, whether wilt thou goe? Ros. I haue more cause Cel. Thou hast not Cosen, Cel. No, hath not? Rosaline lacks then the loue Ros. Why, whether shall we goe? Ros. Alas, what danger will it be to vs, Cel. Ile put my selfe in poore and meane attire, Ros. Were it not better, Cel. What shall I call thee when thou art a man? Ros. But Cosen, what if we assaid to steale Exeunt. Actus Secundus. Scoena Prima. Enter Duke Senior: Amyens, and two or three Lords like Duk.Sen. Now my Coe-mates, and brothers in exile: Amien. I would not change it, happy is your Grace Du.Sen. Come, shall we goe and kill vs venison? 1.Lord. Indeed my Lord Du.Sen. But what said Iaques? D.Sen. And did you leaue him in this contemplation? Du.Sen. Show me the place, 1.Lor. Ile bring you to him strait. Exeunt. Scena Secunda. Enter Duke, with Lords. Duk. Can it be possible that no man saw them? 1.Lo. I cannot heare of any that did see her, 2.Lor. My Lord, the roynish Clown, at whom so oft, Duk. Send to his brother, fetch that gallant hither, Exeunt. Scena Tertia. Enter Orlando and Adam. Orl. Who's there? Ad. Why whether Adam would'st thou haue me go? Orl. What, would'st thou haue me go & beg my food, Ad. But do not so: I haue fiue hundred Crownes, Orl. Oh good old man, how well in thee appeares Ad. Master goe on, and I will follow thee Exeunt. Scena Quarta. Enter Rosaline for Ganimed, Celia for Aliena, and Clowne, alias Ros. O Iupiter, how merry are my spirits? Ros. I could finde in my heart to disgrace my mansapparell, and to cry like a woman: but I must comfortthe weaker vessell, as doublet and hose ought to show itselfe coragious to petty-coate; therefore courage, goodAliena Cel. I pray you beare with me, I cannot goe no further Clo. For my part, I had rather beare with you, thenbeare you: yet I should beare no crosse if I did beareyou, for I thinke you haue no money in your purse Ros. Well, this is the Forrest of Arden Clo. I, now am I in Arden, the more foole I, when I Ros. I, be so good Touchstone: Look you, who comes Cor. That is the way to make her scorne you still Sil. Oh Corin, that thou knew'st how I do loue her Cor. I partly guesse: for I haue lou'd ere now Sil. No Corin, being old, thou canst not guesse, Sil. Oh thou didst then neuer loue so hartily, Ros. Alas poore Shepheard searching of they would, Clo. And I mine: I remember when I was in loue, Ibroke my sword vpon a stone, and bid him take that forcomming a night to Iane Smile, and I remember the kissingof her batler, and the Cowes dugs that her prettiechopt hands had milk'd; and I remember the wooingof a peascod instead of her, from whom I tooke twocods, and giuing her them againe, said with weepingteares, weare these for my sake: wee that are true Louers,runne into strange capers; but as all is mortall innature, so is all nature in loue, mortall in folly Ros. Thou speak'st wiser then thou art ware of Clo. Nay, I shall nere be ware of mine owne wit, till Ros. Ioue, Ioue, this Shepherds passion, Clo. And mine, but it growes something stale with Cel. I pray you, one of you question yon'd man, Clo. Holla; you Clowne Ros. Peace foole, he's not thy kinsman Cor. Who cals? Cor. Else are they very wretched Ros. Peace I say; good euen to your friend Cor. And to you gentle Sir, and to you all Ros. I prethee Shepheard, if that loue or gold Cor. Faire Sir, I pittie her, Ros. What is he that shall buy his flocke and pasture? Ros. I pray thee, if it stand with honestie, Cel. And we will mend thy wages: Cor. Assuredly the thing is to be sold: Exeunt. Scena Quinta. Enter, Amyens, Iaques, & others. Song. Vnder the greene wood tree,who loues to lye with mee,And turne his merrie Note,vnto the sweet Birds throte:Come hither, come hither, come hither:Heere shall he see no enemie,But Winter and rough Weather Iaq. More, more, I pre'thee more Amy. It will make you melancholly Monsieur Iaques Amy. My voice is ragged, I know I cannot please Iaq. I do not desire you to please me, Iaq. Nay, I care not for their names, they owe mee Iaq. Well then, if euer I thanke any man, Ile thankeyou: but that they cal complement is like th' encounterof two dog-Apes. And when a man thankes me hartily,me thinkes I haue giuen him a penie, and he renders methe beggerly thankes. Come sing; and you that wil nothold your tongues Amy. Wel, Ile end the song. Sirs, couer the while,the Duke wil drinke vnder this tree; he hath bin all thisday to looke you Iaq. And I haue bin all this day to auoid him: Song. Altogether heere. Who doth ambition shunne,and loues to liue i'th Sunne:Seeking the food he eates,and pleas'd with what he gets:Come hither, come hither, come hither,Heere shall he see. &c Iaq. Ile giue you a verse to this note, Amy. And Ile sing it Amy. Thus it goes. Amy. What's that Ducdame? Amy. And Ile go seeke the Duke, Exeunt. Scena Sexta. Enter Orlando, & Adam Adam. Deere Master, I can go no further: Orl. Why how now Adam? No greater heart in thee: Exeunt. Scena Septima. Enter Duke Sen. & Lord, like Out-lawes. Du.Sen. I thinke he be transform'd into a beast, 1.Lord. My Lord, he is but euen now gone hence, Du.Sen. If he compact of iarres, grow Musicall, 1.Lord. He saues my labor by his owne approach Du.Sen. Why how now Monsieur, what a life is this Iaq. A Foole, a foole: I met a foole i'th Forrest, Du.Sen. What foole is this? Du.Sen. Thou shalt haue one Iaq. It is my onely suite, Du.Sen. Fie on thee. I can tell what thou wouldst do Iaq. What, for a Counter, would I do, but good? Iaq. Why who cries out on pride, Orl. Forbeare, and eate no more Iaq. Why I haue eate none yet Orl. Nor shalt not, till necessity be seru'd Iaq. Of what kinde should this Cocke come of? Iaq. And you will not be answer'd with reason, Du.Sen. What would you haue? Orl. I almost die for food, and let me haue it Du.Sen. Sit downe and feed, & welcom to our table Du.Sen. True is it, that we haue seene better dayes, Orl. Then but forbeare your food a little while: Duke Sen. Go finde him out, Orl. I thanke ye, and be blest for your good comfort Du.Sen. Thou seest, we are not all alone vnhappie: Ia. All the world's a stage, Du.Sen. Welcome: set downe your venerable burthen, Orl. I thanke you most for him Ad. So had you neede, Du.Sen. Welcome, fall too: I wil not trouble you, Song. Blow, blow, thou winter winde, Duke Sen. If that you were the good Sir Rowlands son, Exeunt. Actus Tertius. Scena Prima. Enter Duke, Lords, & Oliuer. Du. Not see him since? Sir, sir, that cannot be: Ol. Oh that your Highnesse knew my heart in this: Duke. More villaine thou. Well push him out of dores Exeunt. Scena Secunda. Enter Orlando. Orl. Hang there my verse, in witnesse of my loue, Exit Enter Corin & Clowne. Co. And how like you this shepherds life Mr Touchstone? Clow. Truely Shepheard, in respect of it selfe, it is agood life; but in respect that it is a shepheards life, it isnaught. In respect that it is solitary, I like it verie well:but in respect that it is priuate, it is a very vild life. Nowin respect it is in the fields, it pleaseth mee well: but inrespect it is not in the Court, it is tedious. As it is a sparelife (looke you) it fits my humor well: but as there is nomore plentie in it, it goes much against my stomacke.Has't any Philosophie in thee shepheard? Cor. No more, but that I know the more one sickens,the worse at ease he is: and that hee that wants money,meanes, and content, is without three good frends. Thatthe propertie of raine is to wet, and fire to burne: Thatgood pasture makes fat sheepe: and that a great cause ofthe night, is lacke of the Sunne: That hee that hath learnedno wit by Nature, nor Art, may complaine of goodbreeding, or comes of a very dull kindred Clo. Such a one is a naturall Philosopher: Clo. Then thou art damn'd Cor. Nay, I hope Clo. Truly thou art damn'd, like an ill roasted Egge,all on one side Cor. For not being at Court? your reason Clo. Why, if thou neuer was't at Court, thou neuersaw'st good manners: if thou neuer saw'st good maners,then thy manners must be wicked, and wickednes is sin,and sinne is damnation: Thou art in a parlous state shepheard Cor. Not a whit Touchstone, those that are good manersat the Court, are as ridiculous in the Countrey, asthe behauiour of the Countrie is most mockeable at theCourt. You told me, you salute not at the Court, butyou kisse your hands; that courtesie would be vncleanlieif Courtiers were shepheards Clo. Instance, briefly: come, instance Cor. Why we are still handling our Ewes, and their Clo. Why do not your Courtiers hands sweate? andis not the grease of a Mutton, as wholesome as the sweatof a man? Shallow, shallow: A better instance I say:Come Cor. Besides, our hands are hard Clo. Your lips wil feele them the sooner. Shallow agen:a more sounder instance, come Cor. And they are often tarr'd ouer, with the surgeryof our sheepe: and would you haue vs kisse Tarre? TheCourtiers hands are perfum'd with Ciuet Clo. Most shallow man: Thou wormes meate in respectof a good peece of flesh indeed: learne of the wiseand perpend: Ciuet is of a baser birth then Tarre, theverie vncleanly fluxe of a Cat. Mend the instance Shepheard Cor. You haue too Courtly a wit, for me, Ile rest Clo. Wilt thou rest damn'd? God helpe thee shallowman: God make incision in thee, thou art raw Cor. Sir, I am a true Labourer, I earne that I eate: getthat I weare; owe no man hate, enuie no mans happinesse:glad of other mens good content with my harme:and the greatest of my pride, is to see my Ewes graze, &my Lambes sucke Clo. That is another simple sinne in you, to bring theEwes and the Rammes together, and to offer to get yourliuing, by the copulation of Cattle, to be bawd to a Belweather,and to betray a shee-Lambe of a tweluemonthto a crooked-pated olde Cuckoldly Ramme, out of allreasonable match. If thou bee'st not damn'd for this, thediuell himselfe will haue no shepherds, I cannot see elsehow thou shouldst scape Cor. Heere comes yong Mr Ganimed, my new Mistrisses Ros. From the east to westerne Inde,no iewel is like Rosalinde,Hir worth being mounted on the winde,through all the world beares Rosalinde.All the pictures fairest Linde,are but blacke to Rosalinde:Let no face bee kept in mind,but the faire of Rosalinde Clo. Ile rime you so, eight yeares together; dinners,and suppers, and sleeping hours excepted: it is the rightButter-womens ranke to Market Ros. Out Foole Clo. For a taste.If a Hart doe lacke a Hinde,Let him seeke out Rosalinde:If the Cat will after kinde,so be sure will Rosalinde:Wintred garments must be linde,so must slender Rosalinde:They that reap must sheafe and binde,then to cart with Rosalinde.Sweetest nut, hath sowrest rinde,such a nut is Rosalinde.He that sweetest rose will finde,must finde Loues pricke, & Rosalinde.This is the verie false gallop of Verses, why doe you infectyour selfe with them? Ros. Peace you dull foole, I found them on a tree Clo. Truely the tree yeelds bad fruite Ros. Ile graffe it with you, and then I shall graffe itwith a Medler: then it will be the earliest fruit i'th country:for you'l be rotten ere you bee halfe ripe, and that'sthe right vertue of the Medler Clo. You haue said: but whether wisely or no, let the Ros. Peace, here comes my sister reading, stand aside Cel. Why should this Desert bee,for it is vnpeopled? Noe:Tonges Ile hang on euerie tree,that shall ciuill sayings shoe.Some, how briefe the Life of manruns his erring pilgrimage,That the stretching of a span,buckles in his summe of age.Some of violated vowes,twixt the soules of friend, and friend:But vpon the fairest bowes,or at euerie sentence end;Will I Rosalinda write,teaching all that reade, to knowThe quintessence of euerie sprite,heauen would in little show.Therefore heauen Nature charg'd,that one bodie should be fill'dWith all Graces wide enlarg'd,nature presently distill'dHelens cheeke, but not his heart,Cleopatra's Maiestie:Attalanta's better part,sad Lucrecia's Modestie.Thus Rosalinde of manie parts,by Heauenly Synode was deuis'd,Of manie faces, eyes, and hearts,to haue the touches deerest pris'd.Heauen would that shee these gifts should haue,and I to liue and die her slaue Ros. O most gentle Iupiter, what tedious homilie ofLoue haue you wearied your parishioners withall, andneuer cri'de, haue patience good people Cel. How now backe friends: Shepheard, go off a little:go with him sirrah Clo. Come Shepheard, let vs make an honorable retreit,though not with bagge and baggage, yet withscrip and scrippage.Enter. Cel. Didst thou heare these verses? Cel. That's no matter: the feet might beare y verses Ros. I, but the feet were lame, and could not bearethemselues without the verse, and therefore stood lamelyin the verse Cel. But didst thou heare without wondering, howthy name should be hang'd and carued vpon these trees? Ros. I was seuen of the nine daies out of the wonder,before you came: for looke heere what I found on aPalme tree; I was neuer so berim'd since Pythagoras timethat I was an Irish Rat, which I can hardly remember Cel. Tro you, who hath done this? Ros. Nay, but who is it? Cel. O wonderfull, wonderfull, and most wonderfullwonderfull, and yet againe wonderful, and after that outof all hooping Ros. Good my complection, dost thou think thoughI am caparison'd like a man, I haue a doublet and hose inmy disposition? One inch of delay more, is a South-seaof discouerie. I pre'thee tell me, who is it quickely, andspeake apace: I would thou couldst stammer, that thoumight'st powre this conceal'd man out of thy mouth, asWine comes out of a narrow-mouth'd bottle: either toomuch at once, or none at all. I pre'thee take the Corkeout of thy mouth, that I may drinke thy tydings Cel. So you may put a man in your belly Ros. Is he of Gods making? What manner of man? Ros. Why God will send more, if the man will beethankful: let me stay the growth of his beard, if thoudelay me not the knowledge of his chin Cel. It is yong Orlando, that tript vp the Wrastlers Ros. Nay, but the diuell take mocking: speake sadde Cel. I'faith (Coz) tis he Ros. Orlando? Ros. Alas the day, what shall I do with my doublet &hose? What did he when thou saw'st him? What saydehe? How look'd he? Wherein went he? What makes heeheere? Did he aske for me? Where remaines he? Howparted he with thee? And when shalt thou see him againe?Answer me in one word Cel. You must borrow me Gargantuas mouth first:'tis a Word too great for any mouth of this Ages size, tosay I and no, to these particulars, is more then to answerin a Catechisme Ros. But doth he know that I am in this Forrest, andin mans apparrell? Looks he as freshly, as he did the dayhe Wrastled? Cel. It is as easie to count Atomies as to resolue thepropositions of a Louer: but take a taste of my findinghim, and rellish it with good obseruance. I found himvnder a tree like a drop'd Acorne Ros. It may wel be cal'd Ioues tree, when it droppesforth fruite Cel. Giue me audience, good Madam Ros. Proceed Cel. There lay hee stretch'd along like a Wounded Ros. Though it be pittie to see such a sight, it well Cel. Cry holla, to the tongue, I prethee: it curuettes Ros. O ominous, he comes to kill my Hart Cel. I would sing my song without a burthen, thou Ros. Do you not know I am a woman, when I thinke, Cel. You bring me out. Soft, comes he not heere? Iaq. I thanke you for your company, but good faith Orl. And so had I: but yet for fashion sake Iaq. God buy you, let's meet as little as we can Orl. I do desire we may be better strangers Iaq. I pray you marre no more trees with Writing Orl. I pray you marre no moe of my verses with reading Iaq. Rosalinde is your loues name? Iaq. I do not like her name Orl. There was no thought of pleasing you when she Iaq. What stature is she of? Iaq. You are ful of prety answers: haue you not bin acquainted Iaq. You haue a nimble wit; I thinke 'twas made ofAttalanta's heeles. Will you sitte downe with me, andwee two, will raile against our Mistris the world, and allour miserie Orl. I wil chide no breather in the world but my selfeagainst whom I know most faults Iaq. The worst fault you haue, is to be in loue Orl. 'Tis a fault I will not change, for your best vertue: Iaq. By my troth, I was seeking for a Foole, when I Orl. He is drown'd in the brooke, looke but in, and Iaq. There I shal see mine owne figure Orl. Which I take to be either a foole, or a Cipher Iaq. Ile tarrie no longer with you, farewell good signior Orl. I am glad of your departure: Adieu good Monsieur Ros. I wil speake to him like a sawcie Lacky, and vnder Orl. Verie wel, what would you? Ros. Then there is no true Louer in the Forrest, elsesighing euerie minute, and groaning euerie houre wolddetect the lazie foot of time, as wel as a clocke Orl. And why not the swift foote of time? Had notthat bin as proper? Ros. By no meanes sir; Time trauels in diuers paces,with diuers persons: Ile tel you who Time ambles withall,who Time trots withal, who Time gallops withal,and who he stands stil withall Orl. I prethee, who doth he trot withal? Ros. Marry he trots hard with a yong maid, betweenthe contract of her marriage, and the day it is solemnizd:if the interim be but a sennight, Times pace is so hard,that it seemes the length of seuen yeare Orl. Who ambles Time withal? Ros. With a Priest that lacks Latine, and a rich manthat hath not the Gowt: for the one sleepes easily becausehe cannot study, and the other liues merrily, becausehe feeles no paine: the one lacking the burthen ofleane and wasteful Learning; the other knowing no burthenof heauie tedious penurie. These Time ambleswithal Orl. Who doth he gallop withal? Orl. Who staies it stil withal? Orl. Where dwel you prettie youth? Orl. Are you natiue of this place? Orl. Your accent is something finer, then you could Ros. I haue bin told so of many: but indeed, an oldereligious Vnckle of mine taught me to speake, who wasin his youth an inland man, one that knew Courtship toowell: for there he fel in loue. I haue heard him read manyLectors against it, and I thanke God, I am not a Womanto be touch'd with so many giddie offences as heehath generally tax'd their whole sex withal Orl. Can you remember any of the principall euils,that he laid to the charge of women? Ros. There were none principal, they were all likeone another, as halfepence are, euerie one fault seemingmonstrous, til his fellow-fault came to match it Orl. I prethee recount some of them Ros. No: I wil not cast away my physick, but on thosethat are sicke. There is a man haunts the Forrest, that abusesour yong plants with caruing Rosalinde on theirbarkes; hangs Oades vpon Hauthornes, and Elegies onbrambles; all (forsooth) defying the name of Rosalinde.If I could meet that Fancie-monger, I would giue himsome good counsel, for he seemes to haue the Quotidianof Loue vpon him Orl. I am he that is so Loue-shak'd, I pray you telme your remedie Ros. There is none of my Vnckles markes vpon you:he taught me how to know a man in loue: in which cageof rushes, I am sure you art not prisoner Orl. What were his markes? Ros. A leane cheeke, which you haue not: a blew eieand sunken, which you haue not: an vnquestionable spirit,which you haue not: a beard neglected, which youhaue not: (but I pardon you for that, for simply your hauingin beard, is a yonger brothers reuennew) then yourhose should be vngarter'd, your bonnet vnbanded, yoursleeue vnbutton'd, your shoo vnti'de, and euerie thingabout you, demonstrating a carelesse desolation: but youare no such man; you are rather point deuice in youraccoustrements,as louing your selfe, then seeming the Louerof any other Orl. Faire youth, I would I could make thee beleeue I Loue Ros. Me beleeue it? You may assoone make her thatyou Loue beleeue it, which I warrant she is apter to do,then to confesse she do's: that is one of the points, in thewhich women stil giue the lie to their consciences. Butin good sooth, are you he that hangs the verses on theTrees, wherein Rosalind is so admired? Orl. I sweare to thee youth, by the white hand ofRosalind, I am that he, that vnfortunate he Ros. But are you so much in loue, as your rimes speak? Ros. Loue is meerely a madnesse, and I tel you, deseruesas wel a darke house, and a whip, as madmen do:and the reason why they are not so punish'd and cured, isthat the Lunacie is so ordinarie, that the whippers are inloue too: yet I professe curing it by counsel Orl. Did you euer cure any so? Ros. Yes one, and in this manner. Hee was to imagineme his Loue, his Mistris: and I set him euerie dayto woe me. At which time would I, being but a moonishyouth, greeue, be effeminate, changeable, longing, andliking, proud, fantastical, apish, shallow, inconstant, fulof teares, full of smiles; for euerie passion something, andfor no passion truly any thing, as boyes and women arefor the most part, cattle of this colour: would now likehim, now loath him: then entertaine him, then forswearhim: now weepe for him, then spit at him; that I drauemy Sutor from his mad humor of loue, to a liuing humorof madnes, w was to forsweare the ful stream of y world,and to liue in a nooke meerly Monastick: and thus I cur'dhim, and this way wil I take vpon mee to wash your Liueras cleane as a sound sheepes heart, that there shal notbe one spot of Loue in't Orl. I would not be cured, youth Ros. I would cure you, if you would but call me Rosalind, Orlan. Now by the faith of my loue, I will; Tel me Ros. Go with me to it, and Ile shew it you: and by Ros. Nay, you must call mee Rosalind: Come sister, Exeunt. Scoena Tertia. Enter Clowne, Audrey, & Iaques. Clo. Come apace good Audrey, I wil fetch vp your Iaq. O knowledge ill inhabited, worse then Ioue in Clo. When a mans verses cannot be vnderstood, nora mans good wit seconded with the forward childe, vnderstanding:it strikes a man more dead then a great reckoningin a little roome: truly, I would the Gods haddemade thee poeticall Aud. I do not know what Poetical is: is it honest indeed and word: is it a true thing? Clo. No trulie: for the truest poetrie is the most faining,and Louers are giuen to Poetrie: and what theysweare in Poetrie, may be said as Louers, they do feigne Aud. Do you wish then that the Gods had made me Aud. Would you not haue me honest? Iaq. A materiall foole Aud. Well, I am not faire, and therefore I pray the Clo. Truly, and to cast away honestie vppon a foule Aud. I am not a slut, though I thanke the Goddes I Clo. Well, praised be the Gods, for thy foulnesse; sluttishnessemay come heereafter. But be it, as it may bee,I wil marrie thee: and to that end, I haue bin with SirOliuer Mar-text, the Vicar of the next village, who hathpromis'd to meete me in this place of the Forrest, and tocouple vs Iaq. I would faine see this meeting Aud. Wel, the Gods giue vs ioy Clo. Amen. A man may if he were of a fearful heart,stagger in this attempt: for heere wee haue no Templebut the wood, no assembly but horne-beasts. But whatthough? Courage. As hornes are odious, they are necessarie.It is said, many a man knowes no end of his goods;right: Many a man has good Hornes, and knows no endof them. Well, that is the dowrie of his wife, 'tis noneof his owne getting; hornes, euen so poore men alone:No, no, the noblest Deere hath them as huge as the Rascall:Is the single man therefore blessed? No, as a wall'dTowne is more worthier then a village, so is the foreheadof a married man, more honourable then the barebrow of a Batcheller: and by how much defence is betterthen no skill, by so much is a horne more preciousthen to want.Enter Sir Oliuer Mar-text. Heere comes Sir Oliuer: Sir Oliuer Mar-text you arewel met. Will you dispatch vs heere vnder this tree, orshal we go with you to your Chappell? Ol. Is there none heere to giue the woman? Clo. I wil not take her on guift of any man Ol. Truly she must be giuen, or the marriage is notlawfull Iaq. Proceed, proceede: Ile giue her Clo. Good euen good Mr what ye cal't: how do youSir, you are verie well met: goddild you for your lastcompanie, I am verie glad to see you, euen a toy in handheere Sir: Nay, pray be couer'd Iaq. Wil you be married, Motley? Iaq. And wil you (being a man of your breeding) bemarried vnder a bush like a begger? Get you to church,and haue a good Priest that can tel you what marriage is,this fellow wil but ioyne you together, as they ioyneWainscot, then one of you wil proue a shrunke pannell,and like greene timber, warpe, warpe Clo. I am not in the minde, but I were better to beemarried of him then of another, for he is not like to marrieme wel: and not being wel married, it wil be a goodexcuse for me heereafter, to leaue my wife Iaq. Goe thou with mee, Ol. Come sweete Audrey, Ol. 'Tis no matter; Ne're a fantastical knaue of them Exeunt. Scoena Quarta. Enter Rosalind & Celia. Ros. Neuer talke to me, I wil weepe Cel. Do I prethee, but yet haue the grace to consider, Ros. But haue I not cause to weepe? Ros. His very haire Cel. Something browner then Iudasses: Ros. I'faith his haire is of a good colour Cel. An excellent colour: Cel. Hee hath bought a paire of cast lips of Diana: aNun of winters sisterhood kisses not more religiouslie,the very yce of chastity is in them Rosa. But why did hee sweare hee would come this Ros. Doe you thinke so? Ros. Not true in loue? Ros. You haue heard him sweare downright he was Cel. Was, is not is: besides, the oath of Louer is nostronger then the word of a Tapster, they are both theconfirmer of false reckonings, he attends here in the forreston the Duke your father Ros. I met the Duke yesterday, and had much questionwith him: he askt me of what parentage I was; Itold him of as good as he, so he laugh'd and let mee goe.But what talke wee of Fathers, when there is such a manas Orlando? Cel. O that's a braue man, hee writes braue verses,speakes braue words, sweares braue oathes, and breakesthem brauely, quite trauers athwart the heart of his louer,as a puisny Tilter, y spurs his horse but on one side,breakes his staffe like a noble goose; but all's braue thatyouth mounts, and folly guides: who comes heere?Enter Corin. Corin. Mistresse and Master, you haue oft enquired Cel. Well: and what of him? Ros. O come, let vs remoue, Exeunt. Scena Quinta. Enter Siluius and Phebe. Sil. Sweet Phebe doe not scorne me, do not Phebe Phe. I would not be thy executioner, Sil. O deere Phebe, Phe. But till that time Ros. And why I pray you? who might be your mother Phe. Sweet youth, I pray you chide a yere together, Ros. Hees falne in loue with your foulnesse, & shee'll Ros. I pray you do not fall in loue with mee, Phe. Dead Shepheard, now I find thy saw of might, Phe. Hah: what saist thou Siluius? Phe. Why I am sorry for thee gentle Siluius Sil. Where euer sorrow is, reliefe would be: Phe. Thou hast my loue, is not that neighbourly? Phe. Why that were couetousnesse: Sil. So holy, and so perfect is my loue, Phe. Knowst thou the youth that spoke to mee yerewhile? Phe. Thinke not I loue him, though I ask for him, Phe. Ile write it strait: Exeunt. Actus Quartus. Scena Prima. Enter Rosalind, and Celia, and Iaques. Iaq. I prethee, pretty youth, let me better acquaintedwith thee Ros They say you are a melancholly fellow Iaq. I am so: I doe loue it better then laughing Ros. Those that are in extremity of either, are abhominablefellowes, and betray themselues to euery modernecensure, worse then drunkards Iaq. Why, 'tis good to be sad and say nothing Ros. Why then 'tis good to be a poste Iaq. I haue neither the Schollers melancholy, whichis emulation: nor the Musitians, which is fantasticall;nor the Courtiers, which is proud: nor the Souldiers,which is ambitious: nor the Lawiers, which is politick:nor the Ladies, which is nice: nor the Louers, whichis all these: but it is a melancholy of mine owne, compoundedof many simples, extracted from many obiects,and indeed the sundrie contemplation of my trauells, inwhich by often rumination, wraps me in a most humoroussadnesse Ros. A Traueller: by my faith you haue great reasonto be sad: I feare you haue sold your owne Lands,to see other mens; then to haue seene much, and to hauenothing, is to haue rich eyes and poore hands Iaq. Yes, I haue gain'd my experience. Ros. And your experience makes you sad: I had ratherhaue a foole to make me merrie, then experience tomake me sad, and to trauaile for it too Orl. Good day, and happinesse, deere Rosalind Iaq. Nay then God buy you, and you talke in blankeverse Ros. Farewell Mounsieur Trauellor: looke youlispe, and weare strange suites; disable all the benefitsof your owne Countrie: be out of loue with yournatiuitie, and almost chide God for making you thatcountenance you are; or I will scarce thinke you haueswam in a Gundello. Why how now Orlando, wherehaue you bin all this while? you a louer? and youserue me such another tricke, neuer come in my sightmore Orl. My faire Rosalind, I come within an houre of mypromise Ros. Breake an houres promise in loue? hee thatwill diuide a minute into a thousand parts, and breakebut a part of the thousand part of a minute in the affairsof loue, it may be said of him that Cupid hath clapthim oth' shoulder, but Ile warrant him heart hole Orl. Pardon me deere Rosalind Ros. Nay, and you be so tardie, come no more in mysight, I had as liefe be woo'd of a Snaile Orl. Of a Snaile? Ros. I, of a Snaile: for though he comes slowly, heecarries his house on his head; a better ioyncture I thinkethen you make a woman: besides, he brings his destiniewith him Orl. What's that? Orl. Vertue is no horne-maker: and my Rosalind is Ros. And I am your Rosalind Cel. It pleases him to call you so: but he hath a Rosalindof a better leere then you Ros. Come, wooe me, wooe mee: for now I am in aholy-day humor, and like enough to consent: Whatwould you say to me now, and I were your verie, verieRosalind? Orl. I would kisse before I spoke Ros. Nay, you were better speake first, and when youwere grauel'd, for lacke of matter, you might take occasionto kisse: verie good Orators when they are out,they will spit, and for louers, lacking (God warne vs)matter, the cleanliest shift is to kisse Orl. How if the kisse be denide? Orl. Who could be out, being before his beloued Orl. What, of my suite? Ros. Well, in her person, I say I will not haue you Orl. Then in mine owne person, I die Ros. No faith, die by Attorney: the poore world isalmost six thousand yeeres old, and in all this time therewas not anie man died in his owne person (videlicet) ina loue cause: Troilous had his braines dash'd out with aGrecian club, yet he did what hee could to die before,and he is one of the patternes of loue. Leander, he wouldhaue liu'd manie a faire yeere though Hero had turn'dNun; if it had not bin for a hot Midsomer-night, for(good youth) he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont,and being taken with the crampe, was droun'd,and the foolish Chronoclers of that age, found it wasHero of Cestos. But these are all lies, men haue diedfrom time to time, and wormes haue eaten them, but notfor loue Orl. I would not haue my right Rosalind of this mind,for I protest her frowne might kill me Ros. By this hand, it will not kill a flie: but come,now I will be your Rosalind in a more comming-on disposition:and aske me what you will, I will grant it Orl. Then loue me Rosalind Ros. Yes faith will I, fridaies and saterdaies, and all Orl. And wilt thou haue me? Orl. What saiest thou? Rosalind. Why then, can one desire too much of agood thing: Come sister, you shall be the Priest, andmarrie vs: giue me your hand Orlando: What doe yousay sister? Orl. Pray thee marrie vs Cel. I cannot say the words Ros. You must begin, will you Orlando Cel. Goe too: wil you Orlando, haue to wife this Rosalind? Ros. I, but when? Ros. Then you must say, I take thee Rosalind for Orl. I take thee Rosalind for wife Ros. I might aske you for your Commission,But I doe take thee Orlando for my husband: there's agirle goes before the Priest, and certainely a Womansthought runs before her actions Orl. So do all thoughts, they are wing'd Ros. Now tell me how long you would haue her, after Ros. Say a day, without the euer: no, no Orlando, menare Aprill when they woe, December when they wed:Maides are May when they are maides, but the sky changeswhen they are wiues: I will bee more iealous ofthee, then a Barbary cocke-pidgeon ouer his hen, moreclamorous then a Parrat against raine, more new-fangledthen an ape, more giddy in my desires, then a monkey:I will weepe for nothing, like Diana in the Fountaine,& I wil do that when you are dispos'd to be merry:I will laugh like a Hyen, and that when thou art inclin'dto sleepe Orl. But will my Rosalind doe so? Orl. O but she is wise Ros. Or else shee could not haue the wit to doe this:the wiser, the waywarder: make the doores vpon a womanswit, and it will out at the casement: shut that, and'twill out at the key-hole: stop that, 'twill flie with thesmoake out at the chimney Orl. A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might Orl. And what wit could wit haue, to excuse that? Rosa. Marry to say, she came to seeke you there: youshall neuer take her without her answer, vnlesse you takeher without her tongue: o that woman that cannotmake her fault her husbands occasion, let her neuer nurseher childe her selfe, for she will breed it like a foole Orl. For these two houres Rosalinde, I wil leaue thee Ros. Alas, deere loue, I cannot lacke thee two houres Orl. I must attend the Duke at dinner, by two a clock Ros. I, goe your waies, goe your waies: I knew whatyou would proue, my friends told mee as much, and Ithought no lesse: that flattering tongue of yours wonneme: 'tis but one cast away, and so come death: two o'clocke is your howre Orl. I, sweet Rosalind Ros. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so Godmend mee, and by all pretty oathes that are not dangerous,if you breake one iot of your promise, or come oneminute behinde your houre, I will thinke you the mostpatheticall breake-promise, and the most hollow louer,and the most vnworthy of her you call Rosalinde, thatmay bee chosen out of the grosse band of the vnfaithfull:therefore beware my censure, and keep your promise Orl. With no lesse religion, then if thou wert indeedmy Rosalind: so adieu Ros. Well, Time is the olde Iustice that examines allsuch offenders, and let time try: adieu.Enter. Cel. You haue simply misus'd our sexe in your loue-prate:we must haue your doublet and hose pluckt oueryour head, and shew the world what the bird hath doneto her owne neast Ros. O coz, coz, coz: my pretty little coz, that thoudidst know how many fathome deepe I am in loue: butit cannot bee sounded: my affection hath an vnknownebottome, like the Bay of Portugall Cel. Or rather bottomlesse, that as fast as you poureaffection in, it runs out Ros. No, that same wicked Bastard of Venus, that wasbegot of thought, conceiu'd of spleene, and borne ofmadnesse, that blinde rascally boy, that abuses eueryones eyes, because his owne are out, let him bee iudge,how deepe I am in loue: ile tell thee Aliena, I cannot beout of the sight of Orlando: Ile goe finde a shadow, andsigh till he come Cel. And Ile sleepe. Exeunt. Scena Secunda. Enter Iaques and Lords, Forresters. Iaq. Which is he that killed the Deare? Iaq. Let's present him to the Duke like a RomaneConquerour, and it would doe well to set the Deareshorns vpon his head, for a branch of victory; haue youno song Forrester for this purpose? Lord. Yes Sir Iaq. Sing it: 'tis no matter how it bee in tune, so itmake noyse enough. Musicke, Song. What shall he haue that kild the Deare? Exeunt. Scoena Tertia. Enter Rosalind and Celia. Ros. How say you now, is it not past two a clock? Cel. I warrant you, with pure loue, & troubled brain, He hath t'ane his bow and arrowes, and is gone forth Sil. My errand is to you, faire youth, Ros. Patience her selfe would startle at this letter, Sil. No, I protest, I know not the contents, Ros. Come, come, you are a foole, Sil. Sure it is hers Ros. Why, tis a boysterous and a cruell stile, Ros. She Phebes me: marke how the tyrant writes. Read. Art thou god, to Shepherd turn'd? Read. Why, thy godhead laid a part, Sil. Call you this chiding? Ros. Doe you pitty him? No, he deserues no pitty:wilt thou loue such a woman? what to make thee an instrument,and play false straines vpon thee? not to be endur'd.Well, goe your way to her; (for I see Loue hathmade thee a tame snake) and say this to her; That if sheloue me, I charge her to loue thee: if she will not, I willneuer haue her, vnlesse thou intreat for her: if you bee atrue louer hence, and not a word; for here comes morecompany. Exit. Sil. Enter Oliuer. Oliu. Good morrow, faire ones: pray you, (if you | know) Cel. West of this place, down in the neighbor bottom Oli. If that an eye may profit by a tongue, Oli. Orlando doth commend him to you both, Cel. I pray you tell it Oli. When last the yong Orlando parted from you, Cel. O I haue heard him speake of that same brother, Oli. And well he might so doe, Ros. But to Orlando: did he leaue him there Cel. Are you his brother? Ros. But for the bloody napkin? Cel. Why how now Ganimed, sweet Ganimed Oli. Many will swoon when they do look on bloud Cel. There is more in it; Cosen Ganimed Oli. Looke, he recouers Ros. I would I were at home Cel. Wee'll lead you thither: Oli. Be of good cheere youth: you a man? Ros. I doe so, I confesse it: Oli. This was not counterfeit, there is too great testimony Ros. Counterfeit, I assure you Oli. Well then, take a good heart, and counterfeit to Ros. So I doe: but yfaith, I should haue beene a woman Cel. Come, you looke paler and paler: pray you draw Oli. That will I: for I must beare answere backe Ros. I shall deuise something: but I pray you commend Exeunt. Actus Quintus. Scena Prima. Enter Clowne and Awdrie. Clow. We shall finde a time Awdrie, patience gentle Awd. Faith the Priest was good enough, for all the Clow. A most wicked Sir Oliuer, Awdrie, a most vile Awd. I, I know who 'tis: he hath no interest in meein the world: here comes the man you meane.Enter William. Clo. It is meat and drinke to me to see a Clowne, bymy troth, we that haue good wits, haue much to answerfor: we shall be flouting: we cannot hold Will. Good eu'n Audrey Aud. God ye good eu'n William Will. And good eu'n to you Sir Clo. Good eu'n gentle friend. Couer thy head, couer Clo. A ripe age: Is thy name William? Clo. A faire name. Was't borne i'th Forrest heere? Clo. Thanke God: A good answer: Cle. So, so, is good, very good, very excellent good: Clo. Why, thou saist well. I do now remember a saying:The Foole doth thinke he is wise, but the wisemanknowes himselfe to be a Foole. The Heathen Philosopher,when he had a desire to eate a Grape, would openhis lips when he put it into his mouth, meaning thereby,that Grapes were made to eate, and lippes to open.You do loue this maid? Will. I do sir Clo. Giue me your hand: Art thou Learned? Clo. Then learne this of me, To haue, is to haue. Forit is a figure in Rhetoricke, that drink being powr'd outof a cup into a glasse, by filling the one, doth empty theother. For all your Writers do consent, that ipse is hee:now you are not ipse, for I am he Will. Which he sir? Clo. He sir, that must marrie this woman: Thereforeyou Clowne, abandon: which is in the vulgar, leaue thesocietie: which in the boorish, is companie, of this female:which in the common, is woman: which together,is, abandon the society of this Female, or Clownethou perishest: or to thy better vnderstanding, dyest; or(to wit) I kill thee, make thee away, translate thy life intodeath, thy libertie into bondage: I will deale in poysonwith thee, or in bastinado, or in steele: I will bandywith thee in faction, I will ore-run thee with policie: Iwill kill thee a hundred and fifty wayes, therefore trembleand depart Aud. Do good William Will. God rest you merry sir. Exit Enter Corin. Cor. Our Master and Mistresse seekes you: come away, Clo. Trip Audry, trip Audry, I attend, Exeunt. Scoena Secunda. Enter Orlando & Oliuer. Orl. Is't possible, that on so little acquaintance youshould like her? that, but seeing, you should loue her?And louing woo? and wooing, she should graunt? Andwill you perseuer to enioy her? Ol. Neither call the giddinesse of it in question; thepouertie of her, the small acquaintance, my sodaine woing,nor sodaine consenting: but say with mee, I loueAliena: say with her, that she loues mee; consent withboth, that we may enioy each other: it shall be to yourgood: for my fathers house, and all the reuennew, thatwas old Sir Rowlands will I estate vpon you, and heereliue and die a Shepherd.Enter Rosalind. Orl. You haue my consent. Ros. God saue you brother Ol. And you faire sister Ros. Oh my deere Orlando, how it greeues me to seethee weare thy heart in a scarfe Orl. It is my arme Ros. I thought thy heart had beene wounded withthe clawes of a Lion Orl. Wounded it is, but with the eyes of a Lady Ros. Did your brother tell you how I counterfeyted Ros. O, I know where you are: nay, tis true: therewas neuer any thing so sodaine, but the sight of twoRammes, and Cesars Thrasonicall bragge of I came, saw,and ouercome. For your brother, and my sister, no soonermet, but they look'd: no sooner look'd, but theylou'd; no sooner lou'd, but they sigh'd: no sooner sigh'dbut they ask'd one another the reason: no sooner knewthe reason, but they sought the remedie: and in thesedegrees, haue they made a paire of staires to marriage,which they will climbe incontinent, or else bee incontinentbefore marriage; they are in the verie wrath ofloue, and they will together. Clubbes cannot partthem Orl. They shall be married to morrow: and I willbid the Duke to the Nuptiall. But O, how bitter a thingit is, to looke into happines through another mans eies:by so much the more shall I to morrow be at the heightof heart heauinesse, by how much I shal thinke my brotherhappie, in hauing what he wishes for Ros. Why then to morrow, I cannot serue your turne Ros. I will wearie you then no longer with idle talking.Know of me then (for now I speake to some purpose)that I know you are a Gentleman of good conceit:I speake not this, that you should beare a good opinionof my knowledge: insomuch (I say) I know you are: neitherdo I labor for a greater esteeme then may in somelittle measure draw a beleefe from you, to do your selfegood, and not to grace me. Beleeue then, if you please,that I can do strange things: I haue since I was threeyeare old conuerst with a Magitian, most profound inhis Art, and yet not damnable. If you do loue Rosalindeso neere the hart, as your gesture cries it out: when yourbrother marries Aliena, shall you marrie her. I know intowhat straights of Fortune she is driuen, and it is notimpossible to me, if it appeare not inconuenient to you,to set her before your eyes to morrow, humane as she is,and without any danger Orl. Speak'st thou in sober meanings? Ros. By my life I do, which I tender deerly, thoughI say I am a Magitian: Therefore put you in your best aray,bid your friends: for if you will be married to morrow,you shall: and to Rosalind if you will.Enter Siluius & Phebe. Looke, here comes a Louer of mine, and a louer of hers Phe. Youth, you haue done me much vngentlenesse, Ros. I care not if I haue: it is my studie Phe. Good shepheard, tell this youth what 'tis to loue Phe. And I for Ganimed Orl. And I for Rosalind Ros. And I for no woman Sil. It is to be all made of faith and seruice, Phe. And I for Ganimed Orl. And I for Rosalind Ros. And I for no woman Sil. It is to be all made of fantasie, Phe. And so am I for Ganimed Orl. And so am I for Rosalind Ros. And so am I for no woman Phe. If this be so, why blame you me to loue you? Orl. To her, that is not heere, nor doth not heare Ros. Pray you no more of this, 'tis like the howlingof Irish Wolues against the Moone: I will helpe youif I can: I would loue you if I could: To morrow meetme altogether: I wil marrie you, if euer I marrie Woman,and Ile be married to morrow: I will satisfie you,if euer I satisfi'd man, and you shall bee married to morrow.I wil content you, if what pleases you contentsyou, and you shal be married to morrow: As you loueRosalind meet, as you loue Phebe meet, and as I loue nowoman, Ile meet: so fare you wel: I haue left you commands Sil. Ile not faile, if I liue Phe. Nor I Orl. Nor I. Exeunt. Scoena Tertia. Enter Clowne and Audrey. Clo. To morrow is the ioyfull day Audrey, to morow Aud. I do desire it with all my heart: and I hope it is 1.Pa. Wel met honest Gentleman Clo. By my troth well met: come, sit, sit, and a song 2.Pa. We are for you, sit i'th middle 1.Pa. Shal we clap into't roundly, without hauking,or spitting, or saying we are hoarse, which are the onelyprologues to a bad voice 2.Pa. I faith, y'faith, and both in a tune like twogipsies on a horse. Song. It was a Louer, and his lasse, Clo. Truly yong Gentlemen, though there was no Clo. By my troth yes: I count it but time lost to hearesuch a foolish song. God buy you, and God mend yourvoices. Come Audrie. Exeunt. Scena Quarta. Enter Duke Senior, Amyens, Iaques, Orlando, Oliuer, Celia. Du.Sen. Dost thou beleeue Orlando, that the boy Ros. Patience once more, whiles our co[m]pact is vrg'd: Ros. And you say you wil haue her, when I bring hir? Ros. You say, you'l marrie me, if I be willing Phe. That will I, should I die the houre after Ros. But if you do refuse to marrie me, Phe. So is the bargaine Ros. You say that you'l haue Phebe if she will Sil. Though to haue her and death, were both one Ros. I haue promis'd to make all this matter euen: Exit Ros. and Celia. Du.Sen. I do remember in this shepheard boy, Orl. My Lord, the first time that I euer saw him, Obscured in the circle of this Forrest Iaq. There is sure another flood toward, and thesecouples are comming to the Arke. Here comes a payreof verie strange beasts, which in all tongues, are call'dFooles Clo. Salutation and greeting to you all Iaq. Good my Lord, bid him welcome: This is theMotley-minded Gentleman, that I haue so often met inthe Forrest: he hath bin a Courtier he sweares Clo. If any man doubt that, let him put mee to mypurgation, I haue trod a measure, I haue flattred a Lady,I haue bin politicke with my friend, smooth with mineenemie, I haue vndone three Tailors, I haue had fourequarrels, and like to haue fought one Iaq. And how was that tane vp? Iaq. How seuenth cause? Good my Lord, like this Du.Se. I like him very well Clo. God'ild you sir, I desire you of the like: I pressein heere sir, amongst the rest of the Country copulatiuesto sweare, and to forsweare, according as mariage bindsand blood breakes: a poore virgin sir, an il-fauor'd thingsir, but mine owne, a poore humour of mine sir, to takethat that no man else will: rich honestie dwels like a misersir, in a poore house, as your Pearle in your foule oyster Du.Se. By my faith, he is very swift, and sententious Iaq. But for the seuenth cause. How did you findethe quarrell on the seuenth cause? Clo. Vpon a lye, seuen times remoued: (beare yourbodie more seeming Audry) as thus sir: I did dislike thecut of a certaine Courtiers beard: he sent me word, if Isaid his beard was not cut well, hee was in the minde itwas: this is call'd the retort courteous. If I sent himword againe, it was not well cut, he wold send me wordhe cut it to please himselfe: this is call'd the quip modest.If againe, it was not well cut, he disabled my iudgment:this is called, the reply churlish. If againe it was not wellcut, he would answer I spake not true: this is call'd thereproofe valiant. If againe, it was not well cut, he woldsay, I lie: this is call'd the counter-checke quarrelsome:and so to lye circumstantiall, and the lye direct Iaq. And how oft did you say his beard was not wellcut? Clo. I durst go no further then the lye circumstantial:nor he durst not giue me the lye direct: and so wee measur'dswords, and parted Iaq. Can you nominate in order now, the degrees ofthe lye Clo. O sir, we quarrel in print, by the booke: as youhaue bookes for good manners: I will name you the degrees.The first, the Retort courteous: the second, theQuip-modest: the third, the reply Churlish: the fourth,the Reproofe valiant: the fift, the Counterchecke quarrelsome:the sixt, the Lye with circumstance: the seauenth,the Lye direct: all these you may auoyd, but theLye direct: and you may auoide that too, with an If. Iknew when seuen Iustices could not take vp a Quarrell,but when the parties were met themselues, one of themthought but of an If; as if you saide so, then I saide so:and they shooke hands, and swore brothers. Your If, isthe onely peace-maker: much vertue in if Iaq. Is not this a rare fellow my Lord? He's as goodat any thing, and yet a foole Du.Se. He vses his folly like a stalking-horse, and vnderthe presentation of that he shoots his wit.Enter Hymen, Rosalind, and Celia. Still Musicke. Hymen. Then is there mirth in heauen, Ros. To you I giue my selfe, for I am yours. Du.Se. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind Phe. If sight & shape be true, why then my loue adieu Hy. Peace hoa: I barre confusion, Song. Wedding is great Iunos crowne, Du.Se. O my deere Neece, welcome thou art to me, Phe. I wil not eate my word, now thou art mine, 2.Bro. Let me haue audience for a word or two: Du.Se. Welcome yong man: Iaq. Sir, by your patience: if I heard you rightly, 2.Bro. He hath Iaq. To him will I: out of these conuertites,There is much matter to be heard, and learn'd:you to your former Honor, I bequeathyour patience, and your vertue, well deserues it.you to a loue, that your true faith doth merit:you to your land, and loue, and great allies:you to a long, and well-deserued bed:And you to wrangling, for thy louing voyageIs but for two moneths victuall'd: So to your pleasures,I am for other, then for dancing meazures Du.Se. Stay, Iaques, stay Iaq. To see no pastime, I: what you would haue, Du.Se. Proceed, proceed: wee'l begin these rights, Exit Ros. It is not the fashion to see the Ladie the Epilogue:but it is no more vnhandsome, then to see theLord the Prologue. If it be true, that good wine needsno bush, 'tis true, that a good play needes no Epilogue.Yet to good wine they do vse good bushes: and goodplayes proue the better by the helpe of good Epilogues:What a case am I in then, that am neither a good Epilogue,nor cannot insinuate with you in the behalfe of agood play? I am not furnish'd like a Begger, thereforeto begge will not become mee. My way is to coniureyou, and Ile begin with the Women. I charge you (Owomen) for the loue you beare to men, to like as muchof this Play, as please you: And I charge you (O men)for the loue you beare to women (as I perceiue by yoursimpring, none of you hates them) that betweene you,and the women, the play may please. If I were a Woman,I would kisse as many of you as had beards thatpleas'd me, complexions that lik'd me, and breaths thatI defi'de not: And I am sure, as many as haue goodbeards, or good faces, or sweet breaths, will for my kindoffer, when I make curt'sie, bid me farewell.Enter. FINIS. |
